Can Someone Man(nequin)splain This House To Us?

published Jul 17, 2017

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Outside of Houston in Richmond, Texas, there’s a fine brick house on the market. It could be considered a bit McMansion-y, but let’s not worry about that. Because the exterior doesn’t exactly match the interior. In fact, there’s quite a lot of…character inside. Check it out for yourself.

At first glance, you might think that the real estate agent is committing listing photo sin number one: people in the frame. But, after some consideration, you’ll notice that those aren’t actually people, but a plethora of mannequins. And it gets more and more bizarre the more you scroll.

Actually, you begin to feel for the listing agent, who only tangentially mentions the horrors going on inside these rooms, and instead offers up generic platitudes in the photo captions like, “from the moment you enter you will know an ARTIST (emphasis theirs) lives here,” and “you will love all the hidden gems.” We’ve seen a few “artistic” listings before.

Sure, there’s a porter-like mannequin at the front gate, which we could overlook as a quirky lawn ornament if it were the only one of its kind. But the inside features a multitude more mannequin sins, from a cowboy at the breakfast bar, to one roller skating on the ceiling, to the (faux) dude in a (real) towel posing in front of the glass block wall in the bathroom. I’m no Andrew McCarthy, but I hope none of these pull a Kim Cattrall.

If you can look past the (many, many) mannequins (which you’ll have to—since the “art unfortunately goes with the artist”), there’s quite a lot of house there: 7,400 square feet on two acres on the banks of Jones Creek, with a pool, a verdant outdoor kitchen, and some nice detail and woodwork inside, such as the built-in bookshelves and library ladder in the art studio.

Of course, it’s also listed at $1.275 million, a substantial hike over the city’s median price of $328,900. With that kind of cash, we’d personally spend it on one of these $1M properties, but to each their own.

Is this house a manne-can or a manne-can’t? Tell us in the comments.